Do You Really Like the Company You Keep, or Are Your Friends Just Convenient?

Now we all know the importance of having female friends, right? For starters, they’re there to listen to our mushy stories, they’re perfect for going out with on any given weekend, and they make great side-kicks to help talk smack about a guy or girl you can’t stand.

In a pretty-perfect world, all women would regard their girlfriends as the ideal candidate for all the qualities I mentioned. But what happens when you don’t care for one (or some) of the friends that you keep as company? You know, the friend you gossip about from time-to-time to your boyfriend or other friends or, the friend you secretly fight or curse out in your head during your make-believe confrontations. It’s not that I’m trying to normalize these behaviors, but rather, I want my fellow female blog readers to examine their motives when it comes to hanging with the women in their circle.

So, that brings me to this question: Do you really love the friends you’re always around, or is it simply for convenience to fill your friend roster?

Here are some ways to tell if you may be keeping your friends around simply for the heck of it:

1. You talk about them to others, but paint a different picture on social media.

I find this one very common. There’s no need in bashing another woman, just to hang out with her on your lonely, bored Friday night and then post about it for “likes”. Sure, pictures look great with groups of friends smiling and hugging one another while throwing out a loving emoji and hashtags, but what does it say about your intentions? While no one is perfect, it’s never okay to bad-mouth someone you call your friend, and then look for the first opportunity to jump in an Instagram photo-opp. (#NotCool)

2. You go out with them because no one else was available.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. You talk about the friend you don’t like Friday morning and by Friday night, you’re out with them because your bestie had other plans. While you may call this person your “friend”, you’re really only looking for a seat-filler at your favorite bar. Not only are you pretending to want to be with them (which some may call “fake”), but you end up being a user and that’s never a good look for any woman.

3. You’re afraid of cutting them loose because you have no other friends.

I get it. Not everyone has friends from their childhood that they’re still very close to, or has 7,356 friends on social media. For those women who only have one or two friends (of which they don’t like), but would rather hang-on to them because they fear having no friends at all, is someone who’ll have to reevaluate their friends’ purpose in their life. If this is you, you can, (believe it or not), make new friends. Don’t fear being a solo friend. There are tons of people in this world who may mean you good and who you may actually have a life-long friendship with. Never hang with women you speak poorly of just so you can say, “I have friends.”

4. They’re highly attractive, popular and/or have money.

Let’s face it, human beings are comfortable around other people who are respectfully confident, good looking and have social benefits. It’s not that women intentionally look for models or rich people as friends, but for some, it’s an enhancement when you and your friends hang out and get mistaken for a hot girl group. On the contrary, if you’re friends with a woman you don’t like, but you tolerate her because she drives a fancy car, can get you into private parties or draws all the men in when you guys hang out, you’ve fallen prey to being superficial and you’re keeping her around just for the benefits. Friends shouldn’t be dealt with like insurance. In other words, don’t struggle to pay your co-payments just because you want to go to Dr. Oz for your check-ups.

So, there it is. If you’ve fallen into one or more of those categories, you might be keeping your “friend” around for your convenience. While it may be a hard pill to swallow, you’ll thank yourself later for not being an abuser of friendships and potentially looking like a female scumbag to other friends who’ve picked up on your shenanigans.

Let me know your thoughts…

Your favorite blogger,

Toni